First Visit Ever

20 Mar First Visit Ever

“I’m going to jail tomorrow.”

For some reason that flowed right out of my mouth when I was asked of my plans for Wednesday. Not sure why… probably because I have never ever stepped foot in any sort of jail or prison facility nor have I ever come close to doing so.  Though, it was the truth and it stopped every person in their tracks when it was first heard. Those who knew me very well would be waiting for a punchline to the joke. Those who just knew me needed an explanation of some sort because they were really confused and shocked.

Little Man and I had to meet his social worker Kim at the  facility where we would visit with Bio-Mom and a few other adults for about an hour. I was nervous but I was also sooo ready.  I haven’t done any visits for the last two Angel Babies and I felt this was a big part of what we were trained for. I’m packed and I’m ready and I go and then wow! Reality SMACK in the face!

There was Kim in the waiting room and another older lady. 60′s or 70′s. Before I could say hi to Kim, the lady asked if my baby was “Little Man”?  I said yes and asked her who she was? It was Bio-Grandma. (a piece of the puzzle) She was also going to be in  the visit. We were escorted inside another room and waited for the door to close behind us. Then escorted into another room  where we would find the conference room.

I’ll be honest, I thought I was going to see some cells or rooms in the distance but it’s not like that.  It’s like a corporate office.  Kim knocked on the door and entered to find a huge table, tons of chairs and an officer sitting in the corner very stern looking on a computer.

I was so glad that I had spoken to Bio-Mom’s supervising officer on site prior to my visit. She is super nice and I felt very comfortable with her. She walked in with Bio-Mom. Bio-Mom looked exactly like she did when I saw her in the hospital minus the withdrawal symptoms and the tears. We exchanged hello’s and I handed her Little Man. The rest was me answering questions from the officer, the psychologist and Bio-Grandma. At least that was all that was happening while I watched a prisoner hold, change and feed my Angel.

Little Man and I left after the hour. Bio-Mom and I are still on good terms. I asked Kim how I did. Did I say too much? Did I help too much? Should I have let her struggle with his clothes while trying to change his wiggly pudgy body? I did everything right in her eyes. So all was good. The only feeling I wasn’t sure how to handle was me wanting to give him a bath right when we got home. It’s a horrible thought.  Needless to say, there was no bath, some wipes, but no bath and I held him for the rest of the day!


Angels Foster
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