20 Mar I’m Missing Something
It’s been a few days. She is still on my mind. I have a feeling she will be for far longer than I expected. There was something miraculous about this little one. She has touched the four of us like nothing or no one has ever done. With that said, every time I leave the house I stop what feels like a million times before I get in the car because I know I have forgotten something. There is always something missing. Only for a few seconds of course.
Yesterday was the kids’ first day back to school from a fall break and Ethan opened the car door in the morning. I locked our front door, turned around and he was just standing there looking in the car. Automatic morning response from me, “Ethan what are you doing? GET in the car!!” He whispered back, “I can’t Mom….Baby Girl’s seat is gone.” Ugh… Thank God that these kids will have school, friends and awesome teachers to focus on all day. It will help distract them from the thoughts of what we are missing.
The bottles are sitting in the blue bowl in the sink. Erwin would grab that bowl each night to wash and sterilize the bottles and paci’s for the following day. Made things a lot easier for me to wake-up and grab one from the fridge while the kids were getting ready for school. For now, the bottles sit because Erwin can’t get himself to wash them knowing they will be put away for a while. There is a load of dirty baby clothes in the hamper and a clean load in the dryer. I can’t get myself to do the laundry yet.
She, however, is doing great! I actually get a few texts each day from Baby Girl’s forever family, letting me know that she is adjusting perfectly. Still sleeping through the night and eating just fine. They have let me know again that I am welcome to call or text whenever I want. I am even welcome to visit too. This has got to be a dream! An amazing dream!
Naps are probably going to be the most restful piece of my days for awhile. Everywhere I go I have to explain where she is. I answer the new questions like, “Will you ever see her again?” “How could you do that?” “When will you get your next baby?” “Now what?”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I feel so very fortunate to help educate so many people on how Angel’s Foster Family Network works. I just need a little time to process what it is that Er, the kids and I just did. The kids however, are ready for a new Angels Baby to love and cherish! Er and I are going to give it a couple of weeks so we can love and cherish our own grown babies. So, onto soccer practice, homework, volleyball games and a little TLC for Ethan and Abby and Ruby (our puppy-dog) too.