20 Mar Now What
Baby Girl has been gone for seven days now. Today, her Forever family is bringing over the car seat they borrowed from us. I’m not sure I am ready to see her again and let her go… again! But I have to. So, gonna just get it over with.
I didn’t tell the kids so when they saw who was walking up the drive, they stopped dead in their tracks. I opened the door and they really didn’t know what to say. Baby Girl looked right at them and smiled her big ole smile! She knew exactly where she was. Oh crap, the tears again! Abby was not going to let me hold her for even a second and grabbed her to love on her a bit. All that was going through my mind was, “This was not a dream. It was all for real.” her new family and I sat on the floor and talked all about the week they had.
They said that when they got in the car with their precious screaming angel, they couldn’t help but wonder how I just did what I did. They were worried about me. They started crying because they just took my baby girl from me and because they couldn’t get Baby Girl to understand that they were here to love her even more than we ever could. Amazing family I tell you. They shared all the exciting moments during the last week. Like surprising their friends and family and when their older daughter met her for the first time. Having them tell me all of this just reinforced the feeling that we were doing all that we should be doing. And it’s great!
Two weeks off and I am ready to love again. Kids have been ready since day two. Hubby is so busy he can’t see straight but is following my lead. I called and reactivated our family three days early since sometimes calls for newborns come before they are released. Here I am back to drawing board. Every time the phone rings I grab it and hope it says “ANGELS – Kathleen”. No such luck. The thoughts go through my head that Angel’s has lost my number or have decided we weren’t the right kind of foster family. Why aren’t they calling?? This week is dragging and I am praying every night for a baby to need me. How weird is that? Basically, I am praying for a mom to lose her child. Gosh, that is horrible. I would never wish that on anyone. Prayers are being re-vamped to include the explanation “IF there is a baby in need, we are ready NOW.” lol…
Friday is going to be a crazy day for us. Kids have short day at school, bringing them home two hours earlier. Chores, homework, carpool & soccer. The routine. I was getting ready for my nap that morning to prepare for the hours ahead when the phone rang and wouldn’t you know it was “ANGELS – Kathleen”. My heart was pounding out of my chest. But I had to pretend I wasn’t sitting on my phone waiting.
“A baby boy is going to be discharged today and we wanted to see if you would be interested.”
My mind was saying, “DUH! When can I pick him up?” My mouth opened up and said, “Sounds perfect. Let me call Er and run it by him.” I eventually hung up the phone and just started crying. Well, screaming and crying.
Five hours later I am at the hospital with my kids and an extra kid in soccer attire waiting for the baby and the paperwork. I have 45 minutes to sign my name, put the baby and his belongings in the carrier and get these girls to practice. I did leave the hospital, late, with the kids and our Little Man.
We are on our next journey and day one has already proven to be a whole new story to tell. To be continued — lots of goings with our two day old Little Man.