The main idea behind using person-first language is to acknowledge people as people first, before any other words are used, rather than referring to them in terms of a diagnosis or condition. This can help to eliminate stereotypes that can form.

The focus is on supporting families through reunification and being a source of stability throughout a child’s time in care.

Parents of children in care do not need qualifiers in front of their title. By changing our language, we give parents more dignity, respect, and humanization and demonstrate the support of reunification.

“There is nothing to fix or save in another; there is only the gift of listening.” – Deborah Adele

When we try to “help” we might indirectly infer that we are better than the other and that we know best. It might infer that we don’t trust a person to make the best decisions for themselves. Whereas, when we offer “support” we bring ourselves into an even playing field and empower them to grow from their own experiences.

The conversations about parents in the system should center around this being a traumatic event, just like we do with the children in care. It’s not “us vs them.”

The word “removed” also insinuates an automatic stigma towards the parents/caregivers. It insinuates they have done something terrible to the child, beyond forgiveness. We also know that forced separation is traumatic ... and it is not just happening at the border. It happens in the child welfare system.

Never use “at-risk” as an adjective. It makes it a category like honors student, student athlete, or college-bound student, but ultimately stigmatizes and causes harm. “Risk” should describe a condition or situation, not a student. For instance, rather than say, “More resources for at-risk students” say “More resources to reduce risk factors for students.”

Taken from: https://theconversation.com/why-its-wrong-to-label-students-at-risk-109621

A large majority of parents we work with use substances. The language we use can stigmatize and cause shame and harm. The effects of stigmatizing language may include reluctance to seek help/treatment, lack of understanding, bullying/harassment, etc. Stigma isolates people. In 2013, the DSM changed terminology from substance abuse, addiction, or alcoholism to Substance Use Disorder. “Abuse” carries a negative connotation.

Destigmatizing the disease of addiction is important, because stigma contributes to cultural attitudes that make it difficult for people with the disease of addiction to seek treatment. The fear of judgment and untoward consequences inhibit some of those who would otherwise ask for help. For babies who are born physically dependent on a drug and may experience withdrawal, it is not the same thing as addiction.

The courts ultimately make the decisions about if a case moves to adoption. While adoption can be a beautiful thing, it also carries weight of grief and loss. It means a child cannot safely return back to their parents.

As professionals, we have always been taught to use person-first language when discussing disabilities. Most of us were always taught to say “person with Autism.” In recent years, however, many self-advocates and allies prefer terminology such as “Autistic,” “Autistic person,” or “Autistic individual” because we understand autism as an inherent part of an individual’s identity.

Advocates say that using the word “with” suggests that people can be separated from autism, yet it is impossible to separate a person from autism, just as it is impossible to separate a person from their skin color, gender identity, or sexual orientation. This comes from Autistic Advocacy Network:

“One argument I encountered in one of the more cogently-written papers in favor of person-first language expostulates that because cancer patients are referred to as “people with cancer” or “people who have cancer,” as opposed to “cancerous people,” the same principle should be used with autism. There are some fundamental flaws with this analogy, however. Cancer is a disease that ultimately kills if not treated or put into long-term remission. There is absolutely nothing positive, edifying, or meaningful about cancer. Cancer is not a part of a person’s identity or the way in which an individual experiences and understands the world around [them]. It is not all-pervasive. Autism, however, is not a disease. It is a neurological, developmental condition; it is considered a disorder, and it is disabling in many and varied ways. It is lifelong. It does not harm or kill of its own accord. It is an edifying and meaningful component of a person’s identity, and it defines the ways in which an individual experiences and understands the world around [them]. It is all-pervasive.” https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/identity-first-language/

Language either includes or excludes. Gender inclusive language promotes social change and can contribute to achieving greater gender equality. Gender is not binary and there are more than just two genders (male and female). Non-binary, gender fluid, bi-gender, agender persons also exist. Additionally, intersex people are making the world aware that even sex is not binary, that some people have bodies that fall outside of a strictly female or male classification.

Yes, it can be very uncomfortable talking about race. It is especially uncomfortable for white people who do not have to think about their race often.

In order to become anti-racist, we must have these difficult conversations. Ultimately, that will help increase comfortability with the topic. Consider how using the word “Caucasian” keeps white people at a distance from the discussion of race.

For more information and a little history, check out this news analysis from the New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/07/sunday-review/has-caucasian-lost-its-meaning.html

Our hope is that we can keep encouraging ourselves and each other to work on using more positive language. Remember, even if our intent was not to cause harm, the impact is still harmful. And also, we are all learning, so it is ok to make mistakes!

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/01/04/372684438/if-you-shouldnt-call-it-the-third-world-what-should-you-call-it

While this phrase has good intention behind it, for those who have experienced sexual violence as a child, it can be triggering to hear. Resource Parents work towards establishing trust, constistency, and stability with a child in care that will help them develop a secure attachment relationship.

According to Pew Research Center, by 2055, the US “will have no racial or ethnic majority.” The Census Bureau expects the country will have more people of color than white people.

You can shorten Black, Indigenous, and Person of Color to “BIPOC” – pronounced “buy pock” (“pock” as in “pocket”).

Using the term “partner” to replace boyfriend or girlfriend is widely suggested as a means to speak more inclusively, allowing gay, lesbian, and bisexual people feel safer. It also releases gender assigned roles and creates a more equal standing point for people in relationships.

While it might be hard to say a person “chose to end their life,” it describes it as it was. Similar to saying a person “died” versus “passed away.” It also helps family and friends to recognize that the choice a person made to end their life was not the fault of the family and friends.

Power & Control Wheel: https://www.gacircleofhope.org/power-and-control-wheel/

Cycle of Abuse: https://greenhaven4help.com/the-cycle-of-abuse/